The Book of Human Emotions: An Encyclopedia of Feeling From Anger to Wanderlust is a collection of essays around specific emotions. This is a fun read for anyone who is curious about the human heart and mind.
From the introduction:
“What is the difference between a blink and a wink? If we answer in purely physiological terms- speak of a chain of muscular contractions of the eyelids- then a blink or a wink are more or less the same. But you need to appreciate the cultural context to appreciate what a wink is.”
Initially this book appeals because it offers a “fun fact finding” of terms like “gezelligheid” and “toska.” But, as evidenced by the quote above, the reader gets a clear sense of just how context-dependent all of our emotions truly are.
Context for Apathy, Depression, and Anxiety
Think about the disdain we collectively feel towards “apathy” when we see it in others- especially when we see it in colleagues or gen z- we tend to get riled up in a negative way.
Books such as The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck and The Myth of Laziness speak to the possibility that apathy can virtuous in modern times just as it was among the ancient stoics. Who isn’t familiar with the chronic thought of “I wish I cared less” in our personal and professional spaces. For sure, to feel strongly towards something is synonymous with being moved by it. When viewed as a tool, apathy may be an antidote to draining circumstances that elicit strong emotions. It can help us reclaim ourselves.
We certainly are not care free when we are depressed or anxious. “Depression” is terrible, crippling even. But, not a steady nor state. At times it is a mosaic of feelings with great intensity. The term “acedia” lacks modern meaning as it existed only between 10AM and 4PM among Christian monks living in solitude in the Egyptian desert during the 4th century. Though closely related to feelings associated with depression, the monks saw this feeling as something to guard against and incorporated that effort into their spiritual practice. You’d meet this feeling, pray for redemption, and move on, perhaps closer to the architect of the universe. Modern medicine and psychoanalysis view depression and its associated feelings much differently; something to be cured of. Hopefully in such a way it never returns.
The same change in thinking happened with anxiety over centuries. It took time for this term to manifest, but language around it had existed for centuries. In the 1800’s, anxiety was seen as a natural consequence of man’s recognition of his own freedom. To philosopher Soren Kirkegaard, this would not be something to try and “cure.”
As All Of This Relates To Therapy
So in lies why I put so much emphasis on the context of an individual receiving therapy. If depression and anxiety manifest in someone’s life, what could it be telling us? How is it received among the people who this individual cares for and is cared for? How heavy are the conditions for this individual to carry and are they carrying it alone? I certainly hope not.
My copy of The Book of Human Emotions has a color wheel on the front cover. We have different association with colors just as we do emotions. These interpretations can have subtle or deep meaning. Yellow reminds us of a cheerful cartoon sun. Blue of a calming sky. Grays of sadness. In actuality, no color or emotion has any inherent meaning more than it has a weight. With that said, how much “lighter” do you feel when someone puts an arm around you and says something like “yeah, I’d feel this way too. It makes sense and you’ll figure it out.”
There in lies the inherent beauty of therapy, of healing. It’s about connection: within yourself and between you and the people you care about the most. This is what I wish for everyone. Hang in there. Find beauty and meaning in your struggles. There is no hero story without setbacks (if you can think of a counter example to this, email me!).
Take care and lean on those around you if you feel heavy.