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Todd Shirley, LPC

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Help By Not Helping

June 28, 2022 by Todd Shirley

Years ago while collaborating on a treatment plan, a client asked me if I would be using hypnosis on him. He laughed nervously waiting for my answer (which, of course, was a “no”).

I laughed nervously as well.  The question had caught me off guard.  I think it indicated a mistrust in him that I can understand. There were several people in his life who wanted major changes from him. Counseling was kind of a last resort for them. They wanted him “fixed” and had not been successful in doing so for over a decade.

Looking back on that moment reminds me of my distaste for the “fix it” model so many people assign to counseling. It’s proverbial.  Many clients and students I meet feel resentful towards therapists and counselors. I never fault them for this.

This resentment can evaporate of course. Young people quickly grow to appreciate how hard a listening ear is to come by.

My professional work is centered around feeling. “Fixing” has been exhausted by the time I meet for an initial session.  Feeling takes much more energy than fixing.  Feeling is a way to help by not helping in the way people mostly expect. To feel is to be authentic. To be authentic is a lifelong journey with no destination.

 

If you are interested in hearing more about Todd’s philosophy of counseling use this link to set up a free 15 minute consultation.

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Todd Shirley is a teen and family counselor in Malvern and Wayne, PA. He specializes in working with teens struggling with anxiety and depression.

Contact Information

Todd Shirley, LPC
toddshirleycounseling@proton.me
610-947-4211

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Resources

  • About Me
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Services

  • Teen Therapy
  • Individual Therapy
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  • Teletherapy
  • Free Consult