Years ago while collaborating on a treatment plan, a client asked me if I would be using hypnosis on him. He laughed nervously waiting for my answer (which, of course, was a “no”).
I laughed nervously as well. The question had caught me off guard. I think it indicated a mistrust in him that I can understand. There were several people in his life who wanted major changes from him. Counseling was kind of a last resort for them. They wanted him “fixed” and had not been successful in doing so for over a decade.
Looking back on that moment reminds me of my distaste for the “fix it” model so many people assign to counseling. It’s proverbial. Many clients and students I meet feel resentful towards therapists and counselors. I never fault them for this.
This resentment can evaporate of course. Young people quickly grow to appreciate how hard a listening ear is to come by.
My professional work is centered around feeling. “Fixing” has been exhausted by the time I meet for an initial session. Feeling takes much more energy than fixing. Feeling is a way to help by not helping in the way people mostly expect. To feel is to be authentic. To be authentic is a lifelong journey with no destination.
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