Be it a greeting card, meme, or kind gesture, being seen for what you are going through feels good- and depending on when it hits- can alleviate pain.
True witnessing of another person’s problems and experience can be deeply therapeutic and healing. I can recount crying in church as the news of my dad’s sickness set in. It was my grandmother placing a hand on my chest that helped me feel better. She didn’t have to say anything, she simply bore witness to what was going on and offered me warmth.
Life has a way of obfuscating this kind of connection and healing. Sometimes young people reject gestures like the one offered by my grandmother. Too often vulnerability gets transformed into conflict as teens and their caregivers stonewall and resent each other. This stalemate can stretch into years. Suddenly holidays, weddings, funerals, and birthday parties bring us into the same room with the people who matter most to us and it’s a difficult experience frought with tension. My hope for you and your family is that you all can anticipate these events as welcomed breaks and chances to connect with each other.
Family therapy is about repair and at the very least, easing things for when we come together. It’s about tapping into our own ability to witness what we are going through in the moment and traversing the road that brought us to where we are. With the utilization of Attachment Based Family Therapy, conversations like this happen with great frequency. I can attest people reach out to me after therapy and thank me for setting up new households to enter into at the holidays.
If you struggle to be seen by your family or you struggle with how strained important relationships have become, I may be able to help you witness life with your loved ones, or help you be seen by them. Consider setting up a free consultation with me. It would be an honor for me to hear your story.